


Not Alone

by Mcboats



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Amputation, Battle, Blood and Violence, Darkspawn, Dragon Age AU, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-06 17:26:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18855634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcboats/pseuds/Mcboats
Summary: He had always longed to be a warrior, like in the stories he was told as a child, but this was nothing like he imagined. He didn’t expect monsters to haunt his sleeping mind, keeping him from resting. He wasn’t told until after he had already passed the ultimate test that he would only live 30 years more, at most. Before, he had never truly thought about when he would die, but now it loomed over him like a phantom.





	1. The Truth

**Author's Note:**

> So given the absolute shit show that is season 8, I decided to give Braime a better narrative, because they deserve it. For people who don't play Dragon Age, I'll give you the cliff notes version of some of these terms. For people who already know, go ahead and skip it and enjoy!
> 
> Oh yeah, I stole the thing in the ASOIAF where Jaime's thoughts are in italics, just fyi.
> 
> Darkspawn: Basically just zombies, only they're less human. They can rise up from under the ground basically anywhere.  
> The Blights: It's a point in time when the Darkspawn (and an Archdemon) threaten to destroy the world.  
> Archdemon: crazy huge dragon that commands all the Darkspawn.  
> Grey Wardens: a group of militant warriors whose sole purpose is to kill Darkspawn and the Archdemon, and they are the only ones truly equipped to do so. They drink the blood of Darkspawn and it gives them the power to sense when Darkspawn are near, and they are the only ones able to actually kill the Archdemon.  
> That's really about all you need, enjoy!

Jaime sat in the shadow of the Tower of Ishal, his forehead gleaming with sweat after an intense sparring match. They were preparing for the battle with the coming darkspawn hoard. Their king, Cailan Theiren, was certain of their victory. Despite the opinions of their king, the majority of Cailan’s military forces weren’t so sure about it.

Jaime was a Grey Warden, and he knew his death could be in just a few short hours. He had only been a Warden for about six months, adjusting to this new existence was proving difficult. He had always longed to be a warrior, like in the stories he was told as a child, but this was nothing like he imagined. He didn’t expect monsters to haunt his sleeping mind, keeping him from resting.

He wasn’t told until after he had already passed the ultimate test that he would only live 30 years more, at most. Before, he had never truly thought about when he would die, but now it loomed over him like a phantom. He was conscripted, after his father refused to part with him. Jaime didn’t feel that his father truly cared if his son was taken for this purpose. His father was likely only objecting out of fear of losing his most promising heir. His sister wept when he was taken, at the very least _someone_ would mourn him, should he perish in the battles to come.

He was part of a new family now, technically. The Wardens around him certainly didn’t act like it. He might have dealt with the initial discomfort of his new circumstances with a little too much snark. He hadn’t meant to drive anyone away, but he succeeded at that with ease, it seemed. His self-pity was threatening to swallow him whole, when someone caught his eye.

 He had never seen her before, that he remembered anyway. There weren’t many women in the Grey Wardens, so she stuck out like a sore thumb, not that she needed the help. She was taller than almost any other woman he had ever seen. She had a strong build, and her short blonde hair was striking against her blue and grey armor. She was walking with a couple other wardens he didn’t recognize, probably coming back from some sort of reconnaissance mission. They looked as though they were heading for King Cailan’s tent, and Jaime felt the urge to follow them, but suppressed it. _If it’s important, I will end up hearing about it some way or another._

The time felt like it was grinding along at a snail’s pace, and as the sun set, he could feel the tension in the camp beginning to grow. His fellow wardens were beginning to show signs of their anxiety, slashing at tree trunks with their swords, pacing back and forth until a patch of grass was scraped from the ground below them. He grew tired of watching them and decided to take one last walk about camp. He walked the long bridge to the ruins of the once great fortress, Ostagar. He was careful not to step too close to the gaping section that was blown away. Though he imagined that the battle wouldn’t start until sundown, archers were stationed along the full length of the bridge. Jaime felt like cracking a joke with an elf who looked particularly focused but thought better of it.

Jaime passed a group of mages, further preparing themselves for the fight. He could feel the air teeming with their incantations and walked away more quickly. Even with his armor on, the cold air was seeping into his skin. Spying a fire nearby, he found an empty bench in front of it and sat. He looked up and realized that the woman he saw earlier was sitting across from him, staring into the fire. He took the opportunity to get a better look at her.

She wasn’t what you would call beautiful. She had a broad face, covered in freckles. And from the looks of it, her nose had been broken more than once. But her eyes, big and clearly blue even in the growing darkness, caught him off guard. He found himself transfixed, unable to look away.

“What?” The woman asked harshly, having looked up and noticed him. Jaime jumped in surprise and was almost asking himself the same question.

“Nothing, forgive me,” he said looking away. When she turned her gaze elsewhere, Jaime chanced another glance in her direction, “Who are you? I mean, by the look of your armor you’re a warden, but I’ve never seen you before.”

“We’re an army, odds are you won’t see most of us. And if our Warden-commander is correct, you’ll be seeing a lot less by morning.”

“It’s kind of you, to assume I’ll survive.” he chuckled. After a long spell of silence, he decided to break it. “I’m Jaime Lannister.”

She was silent, only staring at him from across the dancing flames. He felt as though she was trying to decipher something about him, and it was making him uneasy. Apparently, she decided it was safe to give him the information, and finally said “Brienne.”

He was about to ask her surname, when they both heard the horns announcing the approach of the darkspawn. They were very early. Brienne immediately stood up and hastened away, leaving him at the fire. It took him a moment longer to process what was happening, but once he did, he jolted up and ran to join those running for the valley below.

 

The battle was upon them before they had time to catch their breath. Jaime didn’t understand just how many darkspawn there were until he was surrounded by them. They were terrible creatures, with a strange darkness emitting from their eyes and mouths. He was told being a grey warden meant that you could feel the darkspawn. Only now did he realize what they meant. It seemed as though that darkness was seeping into the very air, looking to devour everything. He was trying his best to beat them away, but before long, his sword and shield were feeling heavy in his arms.

Jaime knew there was meant to be another army entering the fray, one belonging to a man named Loghain, he believed. He overheard that the beacon on the nearby tower was meant to be lit, to signal them to join the fight. The beacon was already lit, but they were nowhere to be seen. The darkspawn seemed to multiply before his eyes, whenever he cut one down, two more took their place. _Without more men, we’ve lost._

Without warning, a large beast with horns ran past him, it’s arm knocking Jaime yards away. How he managed to hold on to his sword and shield, he knew not. He landed with a crash among dozens of bodies. Some were monsters, some were simply men, who died only moments ago. He managed to break free and stand. He took a crazed look around and realized he was now on the edge of the battlefield.

He caught a glimpse of blonde hair, and his heart leaped. It was Brienne. He had never seen a female grey warden in battle before. _If the others are anything like her, we need more of them._ She was strength. Even as the darkspawn broke upon them like an ocean, she cut them away with ease. He almost forgot he was in the middle of a battle, hypnotized by her speed and power. He snapped out of it, and without thinking first, called out to her.

“Brienne!”

She looked his direction mid swing of her sword.

“What now?!”

“There’s too many, and Loghain’s men aren’t coming, are they?” Jaime shouted above the din, fighting his way to her.

She didn’t speak, but Jaime knew what that silence meant. She kept fighting regardless. They heard the roar of the same beast that had pushed past Jaime earlier, and both turned to look. The beast had something in its grip, and it took them a moment to register the golden glint of the King’s armor. Brienne began to advance toward it, but it was too late to act; they saw the monster crush the king and thrown him aside.

_The king is dead. No one will survive this battle. No one will know the truth, unless..._

“We have to go.” Jaime could practically feel the look Brienne was giving him, even as they began carving and jabbing through the evil mass with renewed fervor.

“What are you _saying_?”

“We might be the only ones who survive to know. Loghain betrayed the king, he could tell all of Ferelden whatever story he likes. But we know the truth!”

“But we can’t abandon the fight!” Brienne bellowed, sounding absolutely scandalized by the very idea.

“What’s more useful, two alive grey wardens or two dead ones? Do you see any other grey wardens in here with us? We might be the only ones left!” Jaime took her by the arm. He wasn’t waiting until they were dead for her to be ready to leave. Brienne was clearly tortured by the what they were doing, but still swiped and slashed through the madness.

He guided them through to the nearby forest, which seemed to be clear of darkspawn. Once they were far enough away from the chaos, Brienne shook her arm free of his grip, and they both broke into a run. Though he knew this was the right choice, the word coward kept reverberating in his mind. _This is all we can do. Our deaths wouldn’t have helped anyone. Living to tell the truth will help._

Though he knew Brienne would likely be angry with him for this, he was glad he wasn’t alone.


	2. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter to lay the ground work for the great stuff to come, enjoy!

Jaime couldn’t recall being in a worse situation. He was cold, tired, bleeding, and scared. Their only source of light was the moon hanging low in the sky, and it cast ominous shadows all around them. It was silent as could be, which only heightened their frayed nerves. They were miles from Ostagar now, though which way they intended to go now, he knew not. They hadn’t spoken at all since they decided to stop to rest, hours ago. They sat across from one another, each leaning on a tree trunk.

If Jaime had known he was going to be stranded in the woods after the battle (or massacre rather), he would’ve brought a tent, some food and water, and a lamp perhaps. But alas, he was woefully underprepared, and Brienne was in the same boat. Though it was dark, he could see by the movement of her armor that she was shaking. He didn’t know if it was from the cold, or the shock of what they had seen. All the same, he wanted to help, but didn’t know how. She wouldn’t meet his eye and had been staring at the same spot of moonlight on the ground for what felt like an eternity.

He moved to scratch his arm, and the sound of his armor’s adjusting must have caught Brienne off guard. He could see her immediately tense up and instinctively reach for her sword. Realizing there was no danger, she relaxed against the trunk once more.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

She didn’t reply.

“How old are you?”

She gave him an exasperated look, as if to say _is this the time?_

He faltered under her gaze. She looked young. Quite a bit younger than him. To be put in a situation this grave was bad enough in his shoes. This might have been her first real battle. To be fair, this was new to him as well. He had seen fighting and taken part, but never on this scale. He could still hear the clanging of metal, the screams of terror and rage ringing in his ears. Jaime longed to think of anything else.

“My apologies, that was untoward of me. I should know by now not as ask a...”

It was a small pause, but Brienne picked up on it immediately.

“Lady?”

“Yes, a lady.”

Brienne seemed to be fighting the urge to scoff. They said nothing for a moment. Jaime felt as though he was making a fool of himself. He attempted to recover.

“I shouldn’t ask your age, that’s rude.”

“It would be rude to ask a _lady._ This journey will be much easier if you drop that right away. Just refer to me as a Warden, because that’s what I am.”

There was a finality in her tone that kept Jaime from pressing the subject further.

“Do you know where we are?”

“Somewhere near The Hinterlands, I imagine.” She sounded exhausted. He didn’t want to bother her any further, but they needed a plan. If the darkspawn were as quick as they appeared to be, they could be upon them any time.

“Well, Lothering can’t be more than a few miles northeast of here, we should stop there for food and supplies,” Jaime slowly stood, his muscles and joints screaming in protest. He was lucky he always remembered to keep his coin purse with him. It was on a long cord that he hung around his neck for safe keeping. He felt for it under his breastplate and shirt, Brienne eyed him suspiciously. He held up a finger to say _hold on._ He pulled the bag out, checking to make sure every gold and silver coin was still there.

“We should have more than enough for a couple tents, bandages, some food, maybe a couple nights at the inn.”

“After that, we must head to Redcliffe. To inform the Arl there of Loghain’s treachery.”

“Seems like a good enough idea to me. Not that we have many options left.” He was about to offer her a hand, but she was already beginning to stand. He put his arm down swiftly and tried to pretend he never offered it at all. They set off, careful not to walk too far east, that being the way they came from.

They didn’t encounter anyone or anything initially, though that did nothing to ease their fear. Before long, there was a sign of company. Brienne stopped suddenly, making Jaime stop as well. A moment later, he understood why. He could feel it again, that same darkness pulling at him. They unsheathed their swords and waited with bated breath. From somewhere they couldn’t quite locate, a rasping growl cut through the air, and before long the creature responsible appeared.

It was larger than most of the darkspawn Jaime had encountered. Not as large as the monster that had killed the king, but still intimidating. It had elongated horns on its head, protruding from the top of its helmet. Though it had gold armor similar to their former king’s, no amount of gold could distract from the blood and other gore splattered on the majority of it. It had emerged from the trees to the left side of them, and they pivoted to meet it. Other creatures followed behind the first, advancing on them quickly.

Without warning, Brienne charged on them with a fierce battle cry. Jaime was taken aback by this and rushed forward to join her. It didn’t seem like she needed the help. Even with her swift movements, he could see the seething rage on her face. Jaime had to admit, he never wanted to fall on the bad side of her temper. He also found himself admiring her endurance. The battle they had struggled through only hours ago seemed to have almost no effect on her fighting ability now.

Jaime finished off the last few stragglers that appeared and turned to Brienne once more. She was lacing into the now fallen horned beast, slicing a few more times than she needed to. Jaime didn’t blame her, having a target to take the situation out on was a blessing for him as well. After she had had her fill, she lowered her sword and breathed deeply.

“20.”

“What?”

“I’m 20.”

* * *

 Dawn began to break as they reached a raised road, with white stone archways punctuating it. It looked as though many had passed this way recently. Crates, empty bottles and other debris lay abandoned, left behind in the rush to escape the Blight. It looked as though they wouldn’t be the only people retreating to Lothering. They climbed the ramp and forged ahead on the open road. It started to rain, and they could hear the drops pinging off their pauldrons.

“It’s not far from here, a couple miles at most,” Brienne encouraged. Jaime didn’t know if she was talking to him, or to herself.

“Were you conscripted?” Jaime said. He was having a hard time keeping his curiosity at bay. If they were going to be traveling together, he longed to know more. Brienne hesitated slightly, but eventually divulged.

“No, I’d always thought it to be a great honor, to be a Warden. Being a lady never held much appeal for me, and it was clear that it was never going to happen. When another warden came to inquire about recruiting, I had to beg, but my father finally agreed.”

“How long ago was that?”

“About two years ago.”

“Well, that makes you the senior Warden here. I’ve only been a warden for about six months.”

“I suspected it hadn’t been long.” She sounded almost amused. This was the first time he had seen her almost smile. For reasons he couldn’t explain to himself, he longed to see it again. Even if it was at his expense, he decided.

“What? Did I look absolutely lost?”

“Not _absolutely_ , but your eyes betrayed you.”

“Oh, could see the bags under them, could you?” Jaime chuckled. “The dreams have been the worse part, at least for me.”

“You get used to them.”

“I’ll take your word for it, but I don’t see that happening any time soon. I shudder to think what they’ll be like after Ostagar.”

Their exhaustion seemed to double after that realization. Knowing that they weren’t going to rest soundly when they needed it most continued to tear away at them, until their destination came into view. They stopped in their tracks. From a glance, it appeared to be as desperate of a situation in Lothering as they had been imagining. Jaime looked to Brienne to find that she was looking at him too.

“Well, here we go.”

After an even longer glance, they headed into town.


	3. The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a doozy, please enjoy!

A dragon’s roar ripped through the vast darkness above. Its minions let out a cry in response. There were millions, it seemed. The army stretched for miles, with seemingly no end to them. They all held torches, and it gave them the look of a river of pure fire.

The dragon blasted a mountain of flames from its great mouth, filling the air with unbearable choking heat. The fire only grew, consuming all. It was over.

Brienne woke with a shout.

She was in her tent, somewhere on the way to Redcliffe. She let out a sigh of relief and tried to regulate her breathing. Her heart was pounding, and she was covered in a layer of sweat. Her bedroll was disheveled from some sort of struggle, she must have attempted to fight her way out of it while in the nightmare. Usually she could block the dreams well enough, but the strength of their enemy had grown, and their pull on her was louder now. She hoped that Jaime would ignore her outcry, when she heard his voice from outside her tent.

“Brienne? Are you alright?”

“Yes, just a dream. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes.”_

She decided she wouldn’t sleep well after a dream like that anyway. She wiped her brow, adjusted her tunic, put on her armor, grabbed her sword and emerged from her tent.

Jaime nodded at her in greeting. He sat at the fire, his sword at his side. She could see concern in his eyes, but she did her best to not look shaken, though the images from the nightmare were still flashing in her mind. She sat down across from him, the fire dancing lightly before them.

“The Archdemon again?”

Brienne nodded.

“That thing is becoming a real thorn in our side, and we haven’t even had the pleasure of meeting him yet.”

“It’s useful, to know what their next moves might be.”

“Can you understand them? I haven’t the faintest idea what their plans are, all it tells me is that we are severely outnumbered.” Jaime sighed exasperatedly.

“I... no. I don’t know what they are saying. I know- sorry, _knew_ some older wardens who said they could glean some things from their nightmares, but you very well know what happened to them.”

The question that neither of them wanted to acknowledge hung in the cool night air around them. Brienne was content to ignore it for as long as she could, when Jaime gave it a voice.

“Are we the only ones left in Ferelden?”

“Most likely. There are others in Orlais, but there is no time to go find them. It’s much too far, and I have no idea where we would even begin to look. And odds are they have no idea what’s happening here, with no one to tell them. Loghain saw to that.”

“Is there any way we could recruit more Wardens, put them through the joining? Because if something happens to us...”

Silence took them over once more. It wasn’t a pleasant prospect, being the only two to carry on in this mess. Jaime once again thanked the Maker he wasn’t by himself.

“I’m glad you’re with me.” He had said it without thinking, startling himself. He glanced at Brienne apprehensively.

She seemed to be at a loss for words, but she nodded awkwardly and looked away. He didn’t know if it was the light or the heat of the fire, but he could’ve sworn his fellow warden was blushing. He pretended not to notice.

“It’s not as simple as getting darkspawn blood, saying the vows and having them drink. There would be many more Wardens if that were the case.” Brienne continued, slightly flustered. “Unless we run into more wardens, I think for now it will just be the two of us.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve got such a charming companion, it’d be such a dull trip otherwise.”

“If you ever plan on exhibiting any of that charm, you let me know.”

“Oh, you wound me, milady.” Jaime said in a playful tone. He only remembered after he had already said it that she didn’t like being referred to as such.

She seemed unsure of if he was intending to mock her or not. Jaime mentally kicked himself, and his expression changed from amusement to genuine regret.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t intend...”

“It’s alright. No harm done,” Brienne managed a small smile. For Jaime, her smile shone even brighter in the dark than the roaring flame in front of him. He couldn’t help but smile back. Their smiles slowly faded, but they didn’t look away.

Jaime hadn’t had many great moments to look back on in his time being a Warden. It had mostly been training, waiting, traveling, more waiting, and so on. He didn’t know what they would do, or where they would go after they had accomplished their mission. That was if they finished it at all. But the frightening uncertainty of it all seemed to fade away when he looked in her. _Here with her. This feels right. More right than anything has felt before._

Suddenly, they heard a rustling in the bushes behind their tents, and both darted their eyes towards the sound. Jaime hurriedly felt around in the grass for the hilt of his sword, when something emerged from behind Brienne’s tent.

A small bird hopped along the ground, pecking at pebbles and sticks along its way. After a sigh of relief, they burst into laughter, scaring the bird off.

“Seems we’re a bit paranoid,” Jaime chuckled. “Can’t ever imagine why.”

“Doesn’t help that it’s so late...” She said, trailing off. When she spoke again, her tone was anything but light. “Wait, how long was I asleep?”

“About six hours.”

“Jaime, you were supposed to wake me up, so you could go rest two hours ago!”

“It’s fine, I’m not even tired,” He replied, though his slouched posture and his increasingly heavy eyelids said otherwise.

“You go get some rest; I’ll keep watch.”

Part of Jaime didn’t want to go anywhere, but he knew he wouldn’t be ready to pack up and travel in a few hours if he didn’t get some sleep. He must have sat in contemplation for too long, because Brienne shot him a look to inform him that it was an order.

“As the Senior Warden commands.” He said cheekily, standing up. He stretched, yawning, and picked up his weapon. “Goodnight Brienne.”

“Goodnight.”

Another glance passed between them, and Jaime forced himself away. There was something about her eyes. Once he was looking into them, he was lost and found all at once. He longed to touch her.

_No. What am I doing? This needs to stop._

He continued scolding himself until he was tucked into his bedroll, nodding off.

_We have enough problems without me acting like a complete buffoon every time I’m near her. Although, I do that already._

He fell asleep, smiling into his pillow.

 

* * *

“Jaime!”

He jolted awake, in time to hear Brienne yell his name once more. The urgency in her voice terrified him far more than the dread pulling at his very heart. There were Darkspawn near.

“Hold on, I’m coming!”

With no time to armor himself, he scrambled to his feet, grabbed his weapon and jumped out of the tent. As soon as his eyes found Brienne, he sprinted to her side. He thanked the Maker that at least she was wearing her armor.

There were at least 30 of them, surrounding the campsite with ease. They were trapped.

“Why aren’t you in your _armor_?” She asked through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t think we’d run into this many, this far north!”

“Just stay with me and be careful.” She ordered shakily.

_She’s truly worried for me._ He decided to fully appreciating that fact later. _If there is a later._

The Darkspawn descended on them all at once. It seemed like blades were coming at him from every direction, and his almost bare skin looked ripe to be torn apart. Brienne was keeping that from becoming a reality. Though she was busy with foes of her own, she somehow managed to save Jaime from multiple possibly fatal wounds.

They had managed to kill most of the monsters, and Jaime was beginning to feel a bit more confident in his ability to fight them off, even without armor. He broke away from Brienne while fighting off 3 Darkspawn. He made quick work of them, and though they were the smaller of the evil creatures, he still felt a glimmer of pride.

He heard Brienne cry out. His heart stopped. He frantically turned to find that Brienne had fallen, and another one of the large horned creatures was advancing on her, preparing its claymore to strike.

“ _NO!”_

Jaime ran as fast as his legs would carry him, jumped up onto the monster’s back and plunged his sword into its shoulder. It thrashed about, roaring in pain and anger. In one swift motion, Jaime was thrown from its back, though he maintained a shaky grip on his sword hilt as he was hurtled backwards. He landed directly on his back with such force that it knocked the wind out of him. Though he couldn’t breath and the world was spinning, Jaime had accomplished what he had set out to do. The monster’s attention was now drawn to him, and it stumbled closer and closer.

It took him a moment to realize that his sword had landed a fair distance away from him. Caught between coughing and gasping, Jaime crawled frantically towards his weapon.

_If I don’t reach it in time, we’re doomed, **keep going!**_

He was almost there, and he reached out his sword hand to grab it. He heard the pleased snarl of his foe, and the swing of the claymore hitting earth.

His sword hand was no longer attached to him. It toppled into the grass, streams of blood falling along with it. He didn’t understand. He held up his arm and watched the blood seep from the now stump. He heard Brienne scream his name. He fought to stay conscious, but the pain and shock overwhelmed him, and he knew no more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had fun with this one! My summer break is coming up, so I'll have more time to write, hopefully you'll forgive the cliffhanger.


	4. The Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for suicide, nothing crazy, just fyi. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The pain had awoken him. His entire right arm felt as if it were on fire, his wrist pulsing unbearably. He heard rain pounding on the roof of his tent, and distant thunder rumbling. He kept his eyes shut, trying to remember what had happened. He couldn’t remember laying down to rest, or why his arm seemed to be screaming in pain.

He opened his eyes slowly. From the light, it looked to be midday. On the ground next to his bedroll, he spotted bandages, a poultice, and a needle and thread. There were bits of dried blood spotting the thread, and the sight brought a chill down his spine. He was dreading assessing the damage, but he felt that he could hold it off no longer. He lifted his right arm.

He saw the stump, stitched clumsily, red and ugly. It all came back. The fight, no armor, Brienne in trouble, him reaching for his last hope, and then...

“Oh, _Maker.”_ He managed to croak, his throat severely scratched from misuse.

He heard a gasp from outside the tent at his words, and within a moment Brienne was there with him, her face racked with worry.

“I... was afraid you’d never wake,” Brienne said shakily, kneeling low beside him. “It’s been two days. I did what I could, but I’m no healer. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Jaime lied, though he couldn’t suppress a groan as he attempted to sit up. Brienne held his shoulders down, keeping him in place. She removed them quickly.

“You need to rest.”

“You just said I’ve been resting for two days; we need to get to Redcliffe.”

“Jaime, just hold on,” Brienne insisted.

“The darkspawn won’t ‘hold on,’ who knows how many more that’ll show up if we wait any longer?!” The pain pulsing through his arm was so intense that he was trembling, and it only made the anger building within that much fiercer. It seemed to wane when he saw the look on her face. _She worries for me so._

“We can move on soon enough, but for your... wound to heal properly, you need rest.”

Jaime turned away.

_“Please.”_

“Alright, alright.” He relented, already regretting shouting at her in the first place. Brienne had taken care of him for days now, and he could see that it had taken its toll. Her shoulders sagged with exhaustion and there were dark circles under her eyes.

“I’ll be right back, _stay_ ,” She said leaving the tent, holding her hand out in a ‘stop’ motion to affirm her order.

Jaime looked down at his stump once more. He was staring right at it, but it still didn’t seem real. _What does this mean? I can’t fight. I can’t. If I can’t fight, what use am I as a Grey Warden? What use am I to Brienne? I can’t fight alongside her; I can’t protect her. I’ll drag her down. When I’m better, she’ll tell me to leave._ His breathing was increasing rapidly, and his heart was threatening to vacate his chest.

Brienne came back moments later with a cup of water and a bowl of stew for him. She could immediately detect that something was wrong.

“Jaime, what is it?” She rushed over, setting down the food and drink and laying a hand on his shoulder. Even through the panic, the touch sent a shiver through him. “Is it the pain?”

“I’m fine. Don’t trouble yourself.”

“I don’t believe you.”

When he didn’t reply, she squeezed his shoulder slightly. With that one kind gesture, Jaime felt something finally break within him. He gulped painfully. He had to say it. Tears threatened to sting his eyes, but with all his will he forced them back.

“It’s over. You might as well end it for me now.”

“What are you _talking_ about?”

“I’m broken. I can’t help you now. I’m useless as a Warden.”

“Jaime, you know that’s not true.”

_“Isn’t_ it?”

Brienne paused. Her expertise was in fighting, and words never came easily.

“It’s a setback. We’ve suffered plenty of those since we first met. We’ve pushed through. That’s what matters.”

Jaime had closed his eyes, his face twisted up in absolute anguish.

“You can’t just give up. Jaime, _look_ at me.” She placed a warm rough hand on his cheek. Jaime’s eyes flew open in surprise. Her face was only inches from him now, and her very blue eyes beckoned to him once again. They were alight with urgency and determination. “It’s not over, and you must _live._ Believe me when I tell you that it’s going to be alright.”

When the words sunk in, he nodded slowly. She was right, of course. Jaime didn’t believe in much, but if anyone deserved his belief, it was Brienne. He could feel her fear subside, and her thumb grazed gently across his cheek as she withdrew both of her hands.

“Brienne,” he whispered, taking her right hand and holding it in the only one left to him. She was clearly stunned by this but didn’t pull away. He gave her the most tender smile that his pain would allow him to. This time, he was sure that she was blushing. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” She said with a nod. Jaime didn’t want to let go of her hand, but eventually he did. Flustered, Brienne left the food and drink directly beside him, and stood to go. Before leaving the tent, she turned to him again. “I’ll be right outside. If you need anything, please tell me.”

“I will.”

It was only later that Jaime noticed that Brienne had taken the needle with her as she left. He had to chuckle. How she thought he would be able to kill himself with that, he hadn’t the faintest idea. Seemed that she wasn’t taking any chances with his safety. Even in the state he was in, he vowed to not take any chances with hers either.

He would never regret what he did, even if it cost him his hand. For he still had another. And with it, he would fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! I will post more soon, but I'm a full time student, so you know how it is.


End file.
